I haven't posted in a while. I told Karen this morning that I haven't because I feel like all I ever write anymore is sad. I don't want to seem depressed all the time, and really I'm not, but I do have my ups and downs.
Today was very hard for my family. We started out okay, cooking, getting ready for our Thanksgiving feast with Rusty's family, we even handled greeting them well. But, after fixing our plates and sitting down to eat, the sorrow inside our hearts hit once again. I turned to look over at Rusty and his eyes were so filled with tears that they were just running down his face. I looked around only to notice that others saw the same thing and were hurting. It was at that moment that I realized that we have a lot of hurdles to jump over the next few months and its just not going to get any easier right now.
My brother-in-law insisted that we take some group pictures today, because it had been a long time since we had. When it came time to gather around as a family, we all looked at each other and began to cry again. It just doesn't seem right without Granddaddy. Several times over the past few days we were counting how many were eating supper and we are one less. It's very hard to deal with.
I keep telling myself that it will get better, but I just want to know when. My heart doesn't feel any better and my mind can't erase the events of that day. I miss him so much and I wish so much he was still here with us.
Life isn't the same without you, Granddaddy! We all miss you so much! The boys are doing okay, but Rusty misses you more than you will ever know. We think about you in everything we do and we will always love you!
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