Smiling Again

Today I returned home from a special trip to Savannah, with my mom and two sisters.  We had a great time and lots of delicious food.  We did a lot of shopping and bonding.  It was truly a great experience.  We laughed every chance we had and life was good. 

I am not saying that life isn't good at home, but right now, it isn't great.  This was the first time since my father- in - law passed away that I had been away from my family.  When I returned home everything was quiet and sad all over again.  Over the weekend, my husband and his two sisters planted some grass that their father never had the chance to do and with Patrick and Nathan's help planted a beautiful tree in memory of "Granddaddy".  I think it has really taken a toll on Rusty.  He told me tonight that he had a terrible break down last night on his sisters.  I can't imagine how he feels and I want so much to take his hurt away.

After cleaning out a few areas when I got home( thanks to watching clean house yesterday) we began to clean out our video tapes and DVD.  We found a few black tapes and decided to put them in the VCR to see what they were.  We found tapes of Patrick as a baby and many times Granddaddy was in them.  Patrick's face would light up and he would smile so big.  He kept saying "there's granddaddy again".  It was wonderful to sit there and watch him.  Even though my heart broke all over again. I am so glad that Patrick could smile at the thought of his granddaddy. 

We do miss him so much. Living life without him is so hard, and I wish I could see him again.  Tonight I did get to see him, even if it was just through videos.  I heard his laugh again and was able to see that wonderful smile.  For a moment he was here with us.  That was a really good feeling.  I felt happy and at the same time sad.  I wish he was here with us! 

We miss you so much Granddaddy!