Today after our family went to the fair, we stopped off at the cemetery to look at the grave marker for Granddaddy. Patrick was sitting in the back of the car, and when we pulled into the cemetery he said," Is this where Granddaddy is?" My sister-in-law quickly answered yes and then asked him if it was okay to stop by. Patrick hesitated for a minute then said yes it was. When we all got out of the car and started walking toward his grave, I saw tears begin to fall from Patrick's eyes. Since he hasn't really shown much emotion, I felt somewhat relieved. He stood there and looked at the flowers, then stared at the ground. I wondered what he must have been thinking. After a few minutes he walked away and headed to a bench that was nearby and sat down. We waited a few minutes to see what he was going to do. Before anyone else could get to him, Nathan followed him and climbed up beside Patrick. They sat there for a few minutes, then Nathan put his arm around Patrick's neck. We all began to sob. Finally Rusty walked over to them both and sat beside Patrick. I waited and watched. Then after a few moments I went to sit beside him as well. Patrick sat on my lap, wrapped his arms around my neck and cried. I felt so helpless and nothing I could say or do would take his hurt away. His little heart is broken and that is almost too much for me to bear. After we sat there a good while and he had settled down, he started asking about leaving things on Granddaddy's grave for him. We told him he could give Granddaddy anything he wanted. After thinking for a few moments he decided to put the Gamecock flag he had won at the fair on the grave along with a stuffed fish Rusty had also won. He told his grandmother the fish was there because he and Granddaddy had been fishing at the pond together. Then he sat down on the ground and just stared for awhile, not really speaking at all. We all stood around in case he needed us and just watched as this precious little man, wished for his granddaddy to come home.
My heart hurts so much, not only for me, but for Rusty, Patrick and Nathan. I keep thinking in my mind that we have so much of life left to live and we have to do it without Granddaddy. How do you tell a six year old it will be okay, when you aren't sure yourself. I keep telling Patrick to hold Granddaddy in his heart and think of all the wonderful things they did together. He was such a good granddaddy! Patrick loved him so much and they spent a lot of time together. I hope that the memories will be enough to get him through, and that in time his little heart will heal.
Please pray for Patrick!
