Silent Tears

Sometimes, I see you waving down the field,

whether to say good morning or goodnight. 

At times I think I see you sitting in the truck,

getting ready to go on an errand.

I see you in so many places, and remember all the times,

you were there beside me, talking and laughing.

I try to hide my tears, so that no one will see, how much I really

miss you.  I try to be strong so I can move on, but my heart just

can't seem to let go.  I still ask why, even though I know I shouldn't.

It's not for me to know now, but it just doesn't seem right.  Its so

hard to sit in your chair, go inside the shed, or walk by your room. 

I keep telling myself that in time it will be easier, but oh how my

heart aches.  If only I could see you one more time.  To tell you how

much you meant to me.  To tell you how much I loved you, or just

one last chance to say goodbye.  Those are the things my heart

longs for the most.  I keep all these feelings hidden behind silent

tears.  I feel them welling up inside me and I swallow them back

down, so no one else will see.  I wish for you to see all that life

has brought us over the past few months.  If only my boys could hug

you once more.  If only Rusty could speak to you again.  I want to say

goodbye or so long, yet my heart won't let go.  I know you are in a

better place, but I still wish you were here.  So I will just keep crying

silent tears, so no one else will see.  How much I really miss you and

that my heart has not healed.  You will never be forgotten, you will

forever be in my heart.  Until we meet again.....