Tearful Tuesday

Today has been a pretty hectic day.  It started out with me missing a child at school, only to learn that he had left my room without asking and went to the library.  Throughout the rest of my day I was dealing with several discipline problems, missed my planning for a meeting, and then another email. 

You see I teach second grade.  This year we had such a gap in the levels of our children, we decided to group our kids for reading. It is a great idea, and though it may not seem so, I am enjoying teaching the "cream of the crop".  But with these advanced kids comes many challenges.  My biggest one is making sure I am meeting the expectations of the parents.  I have been very hard on myself, because every time I turn around, I get either a note, phone call, or email asking me to do more, or questioning my teaching strategies.  I know they are concerned about their children, but man does it break you down!  I spend a lot of time planning for this class and truly feel I don't have another ounce of myself to give.  I love the children, we have really bonded.  To me they are growing and learning a lot. (so am I)  This is the first time I have taught a class like this, so I know I am not perfect at it, but I am trying very hard to meet the needs of my children.   I truly see this as a growing experience for me and enjoy learning new strategies and ideas to teach the higher level skills I am teaching. 

Today after receiving one more email, I fell to pieces at school.  Luckily my friend Alice, who also happens to be my literacy coach, was there with me.  She has been so wonderful to me.  I meet with her every week to go over my plans, not because she wants to see them, but because I want her approval.  She kept telling me today that I was the expert, " You are an excellent teacher"!  My first response was, you think I am, but not everybody does.  She reminded me many times how hard I am on myself, and that I needed to "let it go" and realize I wasn't doing anything wrong.  I really look up to Alice!  I've always thought she was the greatest teacher.  She has given me so much support and I can't thank her enough!  So I decided to take her words and bury them in my heart!

Tonight as I was reflecting on my day, I started thinking about how I am a good teacher.  God gave me this talent for a reason.  I love kids, all of them, no matter their background, personality or behavior.  I give 100 percent of myself to my job and I have decided I am not going to let all of this bring me down anymore. 

I keep repeating my favorite verse, " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  I know if I let go and let God give me the strength, I will make it through.  It's easier said than done, but I am going to try my best to "Let it Go" and be the best teacher I know how to be!!